Wedding vows, wonderful how your children see them.

by | Jul 16, 2016 | Family, Wedding Day

We are hardwired to accept stories; stories come from humankind’s undying need to explain things, for children, this is also important as they grow up and how it shapes them and guess what this includes wedding stories too, from your bridal preparation, to your wedding vows and on to your wedding reception.

 But there is conflict in my statement

There seems to be a little more controversy today over the fact if inviting children to your wedding is a good thing, and these discussions have become a passionate one.

I would like to offer my opinion; that is from a photographer’s standpoint, not just that they can add another dimension to our images, instant surprises and smiles. But from a storytelling perspective the deep rooted reason why stories for children are important as they grow up.

Also, I will end this post with a poem written about

 

“What children think about your Wedding Vows .”

Young man shows off his wedding poses during the group shots
So what’s the story?

 

On the one side, we have those who think children bring fun and magic to your special day and for the wedding photographers capturing those unravelling special moments. On the other side, the perception of screaming children in a hushed church as you exchange your tear jerker wedding vows or perhaps the children have decided to try the new wedding games just as the groom is about to deliver his tearful and emotional speech during the wedding reception.

“Children having fun during the wedding vows”

Children add so much to the Wedding Colours
Observant child during a beautiful wedding
Children love being involved during the reception
Young girl finds comfort with her mother during a traditional wedding vows

Often parents make assumptions their children are invited because they are, makes sense right, but I think here in the UK we don’t often ask, British you see. So does your invite go out to Mr & Mrs Jones or the Jones family

Then we have the wedding reception, how are the children catered for, wedding games on the lawn

Maybe it’s a good idea to put all the parents and children on one table easy to control, what about a few wedding games delivered by your hired entertainer that should keep the noise down, these are just a few of the considerations to be made.

But the bottom line is at the end of the day; the choice is down those who are getting married to who the wedding reception invitations are given to.

But there is a catch; we see it all through the eyes of the adult

 

Remember the words “Once upon a time.” be it from a book or a film you just knew you are going to be in for a great story. Children growing up have been trained to hear those words and are ready to watch and listen.

But “why”, stories are a significant part of our daily lives our DNA of sleeping and waking life, we all grew up with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and even Cinderella. That’s why I think for children stories wrapped around the wedding ceremony, the wedding vows and wedding reception are important.

Like all stories growing up, it’s not that we always believed them, but it became part of our knowledge. Children have to go on this journey of understanding, so maybe it’s worth taking time to create a story around the wedding, fire up your children’s imagination

“Children add to the lovely wedding reception”

Young girl taking in the wedding story.
A smiling glance from a young girl during the short romantic wedding reception
Bridesmaid glances up at the bride during the wedding

Why does this matter?

I have seen all too often when a child is encouraged at a wedding reception to participate in wedding games or other activities they come to life and enjoy it as if they now don’t need any permission. I remember the image below I gathered everybody together for the group shot, of course, everybody is up for a bit of fun and the fact most of the family and guests had a hand full of confetti ready for the shot.
I noticed the little boy, smartly dressed had his handful of confetti ready, we all encouraged him to come to the front and on the count of three he launched his confetti much to the delight of the bride and groom and putting them off their wedding poses, he was a happy little chap too.

 

So maybe instead of introducing children to the fact they are going to a wedding maybe create a wonderful wedding story and start with

“Once upon a time.”

This chap was encouraged to throw the first confetti just before the reception

A wonderful poem written about your wedding vows from a child’s perspective.

Today you’re getting married; some say you’re getting wed
There’re crowds of people in our house, and strangers in my bed!
We had to get up early, take breakfast altogether
Allowed to have the TV on to listen to the weather
Shower time was hectic, should have seen the queue
Girls were taking twice as long, and air was turning blue
Hair was being straightened, perfume being sprayed
Nails were being painted, the boys of course delayed
Lots of make-up lots of shoes, sparkles in the hair
Pretty cards and parcels, flowers everywhere
Wedding colours and everyone had new clothes, Dad even wore a suit
Mum is looking stunning, and I look kinda cute
Posh car turned up at the door, took my Mum away
Left me with the other kids but told I couldn’t play
Lots of photos lots of fuss, what’s it all about?
Parties are for having fun; there’s no need to shout!
Mummy looks real pretty lovely wedding colours; Daddy’s not too bad
Someone here is crying but doesn’t look real sad
Lots of people laughing, sometimes very loud
Then it goes all quiet, lady talking to the crowd
Daddy holds Mum closely, putting on a ring
Wedding vows from her to him and makes a speech and makes them cry again
Mummy takes another ring and puts it on his finger
Says some words and makes a speech and then we hear a singer
Someone says a poem, lots of people clap
Waking up the funny man who’s taking a quick nap
Now we are all standing, watching them both kiss
They look so very happy, think they call it bliss!
Time to do some writing in a great big book
And with all those cameras at the wedding reception which way shall we look?
Is it nearly over, some fun with all wedding games ?
Let’s come back tomorrow, we can do the wedding vows all again

 

Poem by ~ Sandra Cook

The Wedding rings at Chiddingstone Castle
IN DETAIL
It’s often the small things, the detail that people miss
Lovely Church - Cumbria - Lake District
ARCHITECTURE

A place for ceremony is an emotional choice

Only just revealing the dress at Danesfield House
PREPARATION
Often in secret, revealing to all over time

CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL

From start to finish Adrian has been a consummate professional. He is a personable, intelligent and creative photographer with a fantastic eye for detail and knack for catching that ‘special’ shot! Throughout the process he was never intrusive but always there and happy to offer advice. I found one of Adrian’s greatest attributes was that he truly listens to what the customer wants and this is proven in his product. He is dedicated and has such passion for what he does which is reflected in the quality of his work. I am absolutely delighted with our final photos and presentation and I could not recommend Adrian highly enough!

SOPHIE & JAMIE - NORTHERN IRLAND

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